BLENDED FAMILY...Building a Life Together

In conjunction with Sagemark Consulting, a division of Lincoln Financial Advisors, a registered investment advisor. Mr. Chazin is a regular contributor to PlannerConnect. In a "traditional" estate plan, each spouse provides for his or her assets (or most of the assets) to pass to the surviving spouse, with the understanding that those assets will go to their children at the surviving spouse's death. This planning approach may work well when the spouses have only been married once - to each other - and the only children involved are the ones they have together. But it can spell disaster if your family is one of the many today that doesn't fit this traditional definition. For couples with children from prior marriages, a better approach is to sort out what's "yours, mine, and ours" and plan accordingly so neither your spouse nor your children are unintentionally disinherited. Think carefully and objectively about potential conflicts, future needs, and hu...

Families today are a bit more complex than they were in previous generations. By the time a bride and groom walk down the aisle, they are likely to have picked up a few more relations than the ones they were born with; everyone from stepparents, step-grandparents, and maybe even a few stepchildren are going to be part of the mix. Having such a large family can make for an especially joyful celebration, but the truth is than in many cases it just makes planning a wedding more complicated. Here are some tips on how to successfully negotiate the complicated terrain of weddings for blended families. Usually the questions that arise center around the bride's stepparents. Things can be almost equally complicated when she does get along with a stepmom or dad or if she does not. For example, a bride who was primarily raised by her mother and a stepfather may well feel very torn about who should walk her down the aisle. Should it be her "real" dad, or her stepdad who was just as...

ABFA is the Association founded to improve the lives of Blended Families. Our mission is to be the "go to" organization to serve, support and enhance the quality of life for the fastest growing American demographic called...the Blended Family. We are 100+ million strong and must be heard across this land, and especially in every state. To created change that serves our family demographic, it will take Americans like you to JOIN TODAY . Approximately 2,100 new blended families are formed every day in America. More than 20+ million Blended Family households exist today and that number grows daily. Research shows that by the year 2010 the 'blended family' will be the most common form of family unit in our nation. By 2010, 130+ million people either will be in or have been in a blended family of some form. (through re-marriage, adoption, foster home, etc) So that you never feel alone in your Blended Family (step-family) journey the ABFA helps families, parents, g...

To a child who does not belong to one, the term stepfamily may suggest Cinderella's troubled family or the eerily perfect Brady Bunch. Actually, neither situation tells the whole story. In a stepfamily, or blended family, one or both partners have been married before. Each has lost a spouse through divorce or death, and one or both of them have children from their previous marriage. They fall in love and decide to remarry, and in turn, form a new, blended family that includes children from one or both of their first households. Here are some common myths about blended families: MYTH #1: Love occurs instantly between a stepchild and stepparent. Although you love your new partner, you may not automatically love his children. Likewise, the children wil...

In a day and age of fifty percent divorce rates, affecting those in the church as much as society in general, more and more families are struggling with issues of his, hers and ours—children, that is. Unfortunately, while more and more people are facing issues with “blending families,” few are actually prepared for the rigors and trials of step-parenting. In fact, this is perhaps the greatest issue facing blended families: a lack of preparation, training and understanding of the issues they will be facing. Consider the situation. A man, previously married, has developed his own parenting style with his children, and the children are familiar with what to expect from their father and are loyal to him. Meanwhile, a woman, previously married, has developed her parenting style with her children, and they know what to expect from her and are loyal to her. The man and woman fall in love and plan a life together, but forget that their children will join t...

Weddings for blended families present challenges unique to them. There are many things to consider when planning these weddings and couples have to know from the start that there will be added stress that wasn't present the first time they both got married. While your own extended family may have gotten smaller if you divorced, your children's extended families is about to double in size. This wedding is not just about you and your future husband. It's about your children too. If your darling little ones will be acting as flower girls and ring bearers, you have to consider inviting at least part of your ex's family and perhaps even your ex-spouse. Grandparents usually don't want to miss out on this event in their grandchildren's life and they very well might want to be there. Of course, if there's still a lot of bitterness and fighting, then it is best to keep everyone at the proverbial arm's length! Since it's obvious that there will be additional s...

Dr. David Hawkins The Relationship Doctor We live in a day when divorce is much more common than it was twenty-five years ago, and because of this, there are more and more blended families. We call them by different names - stepfamilies, ready-made families, and blended families -referring to families where one or both spouses have been married before and often have children from previous relationships. Imagine the following scenario: A woman was previously married for seven years and has two young children from that marriage. The marriage ended acrimoniously because of her ex’s chronic unfaithfulness. There is still a great deal of tension between them and any conversation concerning the children results in an opportunity for ongoing conflict. After being single for three years, she began dating. A year and a half later she married her h...

My husband Charles and I stood in front of the minister holding hands with one another and with our five children. It was our wedding day--the second marriage for both of us. We included our daughters and sons in the service because they, perhaps even more than we, would be forever affected by the vows we were about to exchange. Later that morning when we walked out the door of the little village church, we went from being two individual families to one blended family. As the formerly married marry again and bring their natural children into the new relationship, as we did eighteen years ago, everyone involved is suddenly thrust into a new experience--the 'blended family.' This occurs even if the children do not live in the same household with the parent who remarries. Since children generally spend weekends, holidays, or extended summer visits with their natural parent and new stepparent, everyone involved needs opportunities and activities that provide a sense of belonging. A...

You'll have a stepfamily when one or both of parents get remarried. It is also called blended family because people from two houses get mixed, stirred and blended into one. Being in a blended family is hard. There are several problems and issues that only blended families face. A few of these are: Extended families do not always accept the new spouse or the step children. Both parent and stepparent do not treat children in the blended family equally. Many stepparents have difficulty in loving their stepchild or stepchildren. The children are not accepting the new "parental authority" in the home. The new home has two sets of rules, and two types of discipline. Discipline from a stepparent usually results in frustration, opposition, and disrespect. Children have two homes, with two sets of rules and different methods of discipline. Expert say that it can take more than two years for blended families to settle and be blended into life together. Combining two families into o...