BLENDED FAMILY...Building a Life Together

Hope springs eternal, and there’s nowhere that’s more true than a couple taking the leap of faith into a second marriage. To all those who dare to hope that their second marriage (or third, or fourth) will be better than the last, I say congratulations and good luck! It takes a lot of courage to open your heart to try again! But also, take heed: you’ll have a much better chance of success if you follow some very important guidelines, particularly if either of you have children. Let’s face it: relationships can be a challenge. Any long term relationship between two people moves through a set of predictable and important stages, each stage bringing something rich and healing to the partners, and each stage filled with snags and potholes along the way, any one of which can capsize a relationship. In a first marriage, these developmental stages usually start out in the open – that is, without the complications of children. For instance, most couples usually go through an initial period of

ABFA is the Association founded to improve the lives of Blended Families. Our mission is to be the "go to" organization to serve, support and enhance the quality of life for the fastest growing American demographic called...the Blended Family. We are 100+ million strong and must be heard across this land, and especially in every state. To created change that serves our family demographic, it will take Americans like you to JOIN TODAY . Approximately 2,100 new blended families are formed every day in America. More than 20+ million Blended Family households exist today and that number grows daily. Research shows that by the year 2010 the 'blended family' will be the most common form of family unit in our nation. By 2010, 130+ million people either will be in or have been in a blended family of some form. (through re-marriage, adoption, foster home, etc) So that you never feel alone in your Blended Family (step-family) journey the ABFA helps families, parents, g

FamilyTravelForum shares some resources and advice for step and blended families thinking about traveling together. At this time of year, when travel planning is in full swing, parents in step or blended families may find themselves on opposite sides of the Vacation-with-Kids issue. Should we take all or some, cater to one age group or another, see your relatives, mine, or theirs? For some adults, the first combined family vacation may even be to attend their own wedding, now that tropical getaways such as Jamaica's FDR Resort and St. John's Westin Resort offer special "Second Wedding" packages, complete with childcare so that "honeymooners" can find time alone. You don't have to feel alone in confronting these issues. A Los Angeles Times story noted that the U.S. Census Bureau counted 5.2 million step families with children under 18, making 16% of American children part of a step family. And according to the Step Family Foundation, 64

National Stepfamily Resource Center (www.stepfamilies.info) - Clearinghouse of information, resources, and support for stepfamily members. Topics include counseling, finances, co-parenting, co-grandparenting, and more. Stepfamily Foundation (stepfamily.org) - Their mission is to assist you to make the family, as it is now, function well. They have created a successful management system for the stepfamily,the unacknowledged majority. Kids Health (www.kidshealth.org)- Living with Stepparents - Article on feelings children might have when a new family is blended together. (Nemours Foundation) IDoTakeTwo.com – Tips for making a second marriage a smooth and healthy transition. Way2hope.org -Help with the issues and problems unique to the blended family. Ways to reduce and manage these problems. You'll find frank discu

To a child who does not belong to one, the term stepfamily may suggest Cinderella's troubled family or the eerily perfect Brady Bunch. Actually, neither situation tells the whole story. In a stepfamily, or blended family, one or both partners have been married before. Each has lost a spouse through divorce or death, and one or both of them have children from their previous marriage. They fall in love and decide to remarry, and in turn, form a new, blended family that includes children from one or both of their first households. Here are some common myths about blended families: MYTH #1: Love occurs instantly between a stepchild and stepparent. Although you love your new partner, you may not automatically love his children. Likewise, the children wil

Having a marriage with children from a previous marriage can be an added stress to the marriage. Having a marriage with an extended family can also include nieces and nephews, or any child that is not biologically both of yours. Sociology of the family examines the changing roles of family members. Each member is restricted by the sex roles of the traditional family, these roles such as the father as the worker and the mother as the homemaker are declining. The mother is becoming the supplementary provider and she retains the responsibilities of child rearing. Therefore the females role in the labour force is compatible with the demands of the traditional family. This is something that can you can easily overcome with patience and time. Everything about this situation can and will be sensitive, so watch how you introduce your children into this new type of lifestyle. The safest way to go about this is by talking to the children individually. Sit them down and ask their opinions. Kids

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Although is generally considered appropriate practice for parents to use different techniques to raise different children, problems can arise when a parent exhibits obvious preferences towards one child or another. How harmful is parental favouritism and what psychological affects can it have when one child perceives that he or she is being treated unfairly in comparison to a sibling? Sibling Rivalry How often have you heard a child complain, “But that’s not fair! He always gets his own way”? Although sibling rivalry is common, how is a child’s mental well-being and your relationship affected when your spouse so very obviously favours one child over another? Some parents may show favouritism subconsciously by taking sides depending on the gender or age of the child. Do the seemingly harmless expressions, “You’re older, you ought to know better” or “I always wanted a son” sound familiar? Favouritism not only occurs in the stepfamily situation where a parent favours a biolo