BLENDED FAMILY...Building a Life Together

Kardashian sisters Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney stopped by the "Late Show" Tuesday night to clear David Letterman's confusion about their large, blended family. "I saw the other night you were sitting around at Bruce Jenner's house. Why were you at Bruce Jenner's house?" Letterman asked. "That's our stepdad, and my mom is married to him and has been married to him for 20 years," Khloe explained. Newlywed Kim broke it down even further: "He has four kids, my mom had four kids before they got married, so that was eight, and they have two together. It’s like the Brady Bunch on crack." Kardashian matriarch Kris Jenner, who recently joined the cast of "The Talk," was married to O.J. Simpson's lawyer Robert Kardashian Sr. for twelve years before they split in 1990. She married former Olympian Bruce Jenner in 1991. Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/09/07/kim-kardashian-family_n_952534.html

In conjunction with Sagemark Consulting, a division of Lincoln Financial Advisors, a registered investment advisor. Mr. Chazin is a regular contributor to PlannerConnect. In a "traditional" estate plan, each spouse provides for his or her assets (or most of the assets) to pass to the surviving spouse, with the understanding that those assets will go to their children at the surviving spouse's death. This planning approach may work well when the spouses have only been married once - to each other - and the only children involved are the ones they have together. But it can spell disaster if your family is one of the many today that doesn't fit this traditional definition. For couples with children from prior marriages, a better approach is to sort out what's "yours, mine, and ours" and plan accordingly so neither your spouse nor your children are unintentionally disinherited. Think carefully and objectively about potential conflicts, future needs, and hu...

I started my single parent journey a little over 8 years ago in what then seemed a somewhat unconventional manner. I turned 35 and realized that it was very unlikely that I would meet someone to have a family with before it was too late. I did some research and found an organization, Single Mothers by Choice (SMC). I was inspired by this growing demographic of women who, like me, had focused on their careers, hadn't met the right person, and hadn't wanted to compromise for the sake of having a child. All of us still wanted to have children, most of us were college educated and financially stable. All of us were either considering whether to have a child on our own, or had made the decision and were starting the process, or were already mothers. We turned to each other for support and community, and our kids knew that there were others out there like them, in this relatively new family structure. As I sit down to write this today, I am in a different part of my journey as a pare...

Blending families is never an easy task. Even if everyone starts out viewing the new living arrangement as a positive one, tensions and stresses will arise. It is all a part of learning to live together. Remember, you are taking two very distinct family structures and trying to merge them together to make something new. There is bound to be some resistance even from the most willing and happy of family members. It is important to realize that every blended family goes through a rough period of adjustment and, usually, it does pass. If your family seems to be having an especially difficult time blending there are some resources available that you can use to help smooth the process out. Therapy Family therapy is a fantastic way for blended family members to air their issues in a safe environment. A therapist is not going to take anybody's side and, instead, will provide impartial third party insight into the situation. Sometimes it takes talking to someone who is not emotionally atta...

All blended families have problems when they are first learning how to live together. It is how you solve your family problems that is important. Letting your anger or your frustration get the better of you is never a good idea, now matter how satisfying it might feel in the heat of the moment. Some families are able to work through their issues on their own while others find that they need help. Some families need blended family counseling to learn how to live as a single family unit.. And here is the rest of it. There is no reason to feel bad if you find that your newly blended family needs family counseling. All blended families goes through growing pains when they are first learning how to live together and the family dynamics of a blended family are almost always complicated, whether your family consists of one or both spouse bringing children from a previous relationship into the family dynamic. New step parents are unsure of their footing. Newly stepped children are usually worr...

Families today are a bit more complex than they were in previous generations. By the time a bride and groom walk down the aisle, they are likely to have picked up a few more relations than the ones they were born with; everyone from stepparents, step-grandparents, and maybe even a few stepchildren are going to be part of the mix. Having such a large family can make for an especially joyful celebration, but the truth is than in many cases it just makes planning a wedding more complicated. Here are some tips on how to successfully negotiate the complicated terrain of weddings for blended families. Usually the questions that arise center around the bride's stepparents. Things can be almost equally complicated when she does get along with a stepmom or dad or if she does not. For example, a bride who was primarily raised by her mother and a stepfather may well feel very torn about who should walk her down the aisle. Should it be her "real" dad, or her stepdad who was just as...

Many adults are getting married with children already in the wings. The result - blended families - can be greatly rewarding, although not without conflict. This article highlights some areas of concern for blended families and how to deal with them. It is not uncommon these days for couples to pursue remarriage with children already in tow. Blended family statistics show that at least one in three Americans is now a stepchild, stepparent, a stepsibling, or some part of a blended family. Blended families are usually the result of remarriage after divorce, where both bride and groom have kids under their wings. Or perhaps it's a first time wedding for two single parents. Whatever the reason, families that are united by virtue of marriage and not blood are on the rise, bringing hope and stability to many people's lives. Blended Family Remarriage Conflicts It's not much of a surprise, however, that kids who suddenly have to deal with a "stepmother" or "s...

1. Treat all the children equally and fairly Treat your step grandkids as if they were all your biological grandchildren. They are waiting and watching to see if you will be fair to all. If your biological grandchildren call you "grandmother"- then invite your new step grandchildren to call you "grandmother." If you hug your grandchildren when you see them, then hug your step grandchildren, too. Dispense with the "biological" and "step" labels as soon as you can. Even keeping these labels in your head may cause you to treat your grandchildren unequally. 2. Remember and Recognize Special Days Acknowledge birthdays, school events, and any other special activities of your new step grandkids. At the beginning of each year- mark all special events on the calendar. You may even want to purchase birthday cards, or gift cards- all at once. That way you are fair to all and don't forget anyone. Don't forget your new daughter or son in law, t...

Outside of the land of television and movies, so-called “blended families” face tremendous challenges. Whereas Hollywood can help their “make-believe” families “blend” rather nicely, real life isn’t always so kind. When a couple remarries and there are children involved, it’s crucial for this new family unit to really feel like a family. In Resolving Conflict in the Blended Family by Tom and Adrienne Frydenger, the authors suggest that one of the most effective ways for creating that sense of family is the “team building” concept. Here’s how it works – 1. A team builder values other people. If there are step-children in the home who feel their opinions don’t matter, they’ll be less likely to want to be a part of this new blended family unit. 2. A team builder isn’t quick to judge the opinions of others. They know that these differences aren’t necessarily right or wrong – just different. 3. A team builder views these differences as opportunities for growth. They prov...

Many families today are blending members from past relationships. It would be easy to give up when faced with all the conflicting methods of parenting and discipline that come to a family who has joined forces together. As I was doing research for a recent book, I interviewed a young counselor at a youth camp. I was impressed with her sincerity, maturity, and gratitude that her “blended family" had made the effort and sacrifice to work together toward a common goal. She admitted that she was the instigator of most of the conflict and absolutely refused to cooperate on even the most menial request by her step-mother. She could tell that the adults were becoming increasingly unhappy and stressed and she was secretly glad that they were suffering. Then an interesting thing happened. She was invited to spend a weekend with a friend and she saw what happens when families get along and support one another. The family held a family meeting to decide about some upcoming projects and cho...

Kranthi of BloggerTricks.com is hosting a contest and will be giving away up to $100 hard cash. It's easy to join the contest all you have to do is to follow the rules and mechanics to earn points. The contest participant with the highest points earned will win the contest. Six winners will be chosen on March 25. Just click the banner above to join the contest. How to earn points? Just follow this simple mechanics: 1. Leave a comment there (max 1 comment per person) Points you get : 2 2. Digg the Post: Points : 3 3. Blog about the Contest : Just spread the word by writing a small review about the contest (min 100 words) in your blog including a link to the contest page and a link each to both of the contest sponsors. Points : 15 x your blog's Pagerank Ex: If your Blog's Pagerank is 3 , you get 45 pts . (Note: 10 pts if the Pagerank is Zero). 1 Post max per blog. So, the more blogs you have, the more points you can get. And, he don't accept newly created blogs or blog...

Hope springs eternal, and there’s nowhere that’s more true than a couple taking the leap of faith into a second marriage. To all those who dare to hope that their second marriage (or third, or fourth) will be better than the last, I say congratulations and good luck! It takes a lot of courage to open your heart to try again! But also, take heed: you’ll have a much better chance of success if you follow some very important guidelines, particularly if either of you have children. Let’s face it: relationships can be a challenge. Any long term relationship between two people moves through a set of predictable and important stages, each stage bringing something rich and healing to the partners, and each stage filled with snags and potholes along the way, any one of which can capsize a relationship. In a first marriage, these developmental stages usually start out in the open – that is, without the complications of children. For instance, most couples usually go through an initial period of ...

ABFA is the Association founded to improve the lives of Blended Families. Our mission is to be the "go to" organization to serve, support and enhance the quality of life for the fastest growing American demographic called...the Blended Family. We are 100+ million strong and must be heard across this land, and especially in every state. To created change that serves our family demographic, it will take Americans like you to JOIN TODAY . Approximately 2,100 new blended families are formed every day in America. More than 20+ million Blended Family households exist today and that number grows daily. Research shows that by the year 2010 the 'blended family' will be the most common form of family unit in our nation. By 2010, 130+ million people either will be in or have been in a blended family of some form. (through re-marriage, adoption, foster home, etc) So that you never feel alone in your Blended Family (step-family) journey the ABFA helps families, parents, g...

FamilyTravelForum shares some resources and advice for step and blended families thinking about traveling together. At this time of year, when travel planning is in full swing, parents in step or blended families may find themselves on opposite sides of the Vacation-with-Kids issue. Should we take all or some, cater to one age group or another, see your relatives, mine, or theirs? For some adults, the first combined family vacation may even be to attend their own wedding, now that tropical getaways such as Jamaica's FDR Resort and St. John's Westin Resort offer special "Second Wedding" packages, complete with childcare so that "honeymooners" can find time alone. You don't have to feel alone in confronting these issues. A Los Angeles Times story noted that the U.S. Census Bureau counted 5.2 million step families with children under 18, making 16% of American children part of a step family. And according to the Step Family Foundation, 64...

National Stepfamily Resource Center (www.stepfamilies.info) - Clearinghouse of information, resources, and support for stepfamily members. Topics include counseling, finances, co-parenting, co-grandparenting, and more. Stepfamily Foundation (stepfamily.org) - Their mission is to assist you to make the family, as it is now, function well. They have created a successful management system for the stepfamily,the unacknowledged majority. Kids Health (www.kidshealth.org)- Living with Stepparents - Article on feelings children might have when a new family is blended together. (Nemours Foundation) IDoTakeTwo.com – Tips for making a second marriage a smooth and healthy transition. Way2hope.org -Help with the issues and problems unique to the blended family. Ways to reduce and manage these problems. You'll find frank discu...

To a child who does not belong to one, the term stepfamily may suggest Cinderella's troubled family or the eerily perfect Brady Bunch. Actually, neither situation tells the whole story. In a stepfamily, or blended family, one or both partners have been married before. Each has lost a spouse through divorce or death, and one or both of them have children from their previous marriage. They fall in love and decide to remarry, and in turn, form a new, blended family that includes children from one or both of their first households. Here are some common myths about blended families: MYTH #1: Love occurs instantly between a stepchild and stepparent. Although you love your new partner, you may not automatically love his children. Likewise, the children wil...